NovelConcepts

Quarter of a Century - Part 8  
Judy Meadows taking over for Sandra Tilley

She opened her eyes and drew her hands to her face, expecting to find the tears she'd shed when she was talking to Hemingway, but her cheeks were dry and her clothes were dry too. How could that be? She clearly remembered following the old man into the water...

What had just happened? Where was she? She looked around and saw she was still by the wall outside Hemingway’s house.

Had it been a dream? An apparition?

Somehow it didn’t matter. The ghost of Hemingway had spoken to her. It had told her to look for something in between.

In between what and what? She looked at the problems she faced, trying to see what the real issues were, what choices she had to make…

She thought of Sophie. Should she give her friend tough love or should she keep trying to help her? Something in between might mean doing both. She could be a shoulder to cry on, and she could help Sophie find a placement for her mother, but she could also encourage her to accept the fact that maybe she couldn't save her mother by herself. Lana could encourage Sophie to go to Alanon where she’d have the support of people who’d dealt with addiction in their own families.

Then she thought of Sabrina. Kill her or…? She couldn’t think of another option. What was the opposite of kill her? Love her? Neither option was feasible. What then? Accept her? Sabrina was suffering; she needed friends too. Lana could try.

There were no choices to be made when it came to Maddie. Lana had to go back to the house and let her friend know she was there for her. She would hold her and listen to her and even go to London with her if that was what Maddie wanted.

Kyle. Should she follow her heart and embrace what he seemed to be offering? Or should she follow her head? What did “following her head” even mean, anyway? So far it seemed to have meant doing everything possible to avoid possible rejection. She no longer wanted that to be her guiding principle.

But  did she dare follow her heart? Had she ever dared follow her heart? What would that feel like? How did she know what her heart wanted?

She leaned back against the wall and felt the chill of cold, damp bricks seep through her thin shirt. Music from one of the bars she’d passed on her way here filled the air, and laughter came from somewhere nearby. She pictured Kyle: his roguish blue eyes, his cocky swagger, and the blond bangs that always fell into his eyes. Kyle. She could hardly remember a time when she wasn’t pining for him. And now he seemed ready to take a place in her life. She took the image of him and mentally held it to her heart. Here, heart. Is this what you want? Are you ready to take a chance?

She tried to imagine Kyle’s arms around her, his heart beating against hers, his breath in her hair, his lips…

Her heart skidded to a stop, rejecting the image. Blue eyes morphed to brown. Blond hair darkened to brunette…

“Lana?”

A male figure, outlined against a moon-frosted cloud was approaching from the direction of the house. Lana stood. She brushed her hair back from her face and swiped at her eyes as if the tears she’d imagined might still be there.

Ray?

No, not Ray. Kyle.

“Hi, Lana.” Kyle’s voice was gentle, as if he thought she might bolt. “What are you doing?”

“I’m sorry. I kinda lost it back there, but I’m okay now. I’m ready to go back.”

“It’s been more than a few minutes, Lana. Ray and I have been looking for you for over an hour.”

“Oh, I wasn’t thinking... I’m so sorry. Just when Maddie needs us most, I go and pull a disappearing act.”

“Don't worry. Sophie and Sabrina are with her.”

“Good. Okay. Let’s go back.”

“Wait, Lana. I’ve been trying to have a few minutes alone with you ever since we got here. Could we just talk for a second?”

“I really should get back, Kyle.”

He stepped closer. Too close. He stretched out his arms, one on each side of her, and leaned them against the wall, trapping her between them. “Just a few minutes, Lana… You owe me that much.”

Did she owe him? More importantly, did she want him?

He leaned toward her. She could smell beer on his breath. He smiled his cocky smile and whispered, “This is long overdue, sweetheart,” as his lips came down toward hers.

Something in between. What was between her head and her heart?

Her voice.

But she had no voice. Her throat felt closed up. She felt as if a volcano of feelings and words were dammed up, choking her.

It was time to speak. Her voice would show her the truth.

She turned her head away from Kyle. She bent her knees and slid down along the wall out of the enclosure of his arms. She felt the dam break.

“NO.” The word came out too loud, but it needed to be loud. It needed to be clear. “You had your chance, Kyle. You had a million chances with me, but you weren’t ready until you saw I might not always be waiting for you. What was I—your eternal backup plan? It’s time you grew up, Kyle. Make a clean break with Sophie. Support your friends. And don’t talk of love until you’re sure you know what the word means.”

Kyle reached for her, but she stepped back away from him. He folded his arms together and shuffled from one foot to other. “I’m sorry, Lana. You’re right. I did take your interest in me for granted. But I’ve changed… Can’t we see where this thing goes…?”

“No Kyle. Just no. There’s no ‘thing’ between us. The girl I was when I fell for you doesn’t exist anymore. I hope we can still be friends—I really hope that—but you have to turn off your auto-pilot flirtation mode. I don’t want to see it ever again. And now I want to get back to the house. Our friends need us.”

“Okay. But give me a hug. Just one. A hug to mark the beginning of our ‘just friends’ phase.”

“Okay.” She put her arms around him and gave him a simple hug of friendship. She felt free; she laughed with pure joy. The fixation that had always bound her to him was gone.

Looking over Kyle’s shoulder, she saw another male figure silhouetted against the silver clouds. He was walking toward them, but when he saw them embracing, he turned away and disappeared.

Brown eyes. Dark hair. Ray.

You decide:

A.    A. When they get back to the house, they discover Ray is gone.

B.    B. HEA.